I’m not sure the title is totally accurate since my career never took off so to speak. But what it did was take up a lot of my time.
While I do know some programming and have been on a couple of projects as a developer, I am still just a hack when it comes to it. That is not the reason I am calling it quits though on this journey that started 18 years ago.
It started when I was in college. I had taken a visual basic programming class and was in love with programming. I wanted to change my major but opted not to since most of the development model at this school was geared to business reporting languages – something that didn’t interest me.
So I spent the next few years learning a little bit about coding but it just never clicked for me. Through my current job I was able to attend a Java boot camp and finally learned a lot of programming. Then I was on a couple of short term projects. When the last project ended there wasn’t a development role for me, so I had to choose another type of work.
Since then I have tried to learn more about coding. I have several ideas but just cannot seem to make anything happen. If I am honest with myself, I just don’t enjoy it but feel that I must continue because..well I’m not sure why but it just seems like the thing to do.
I am realizing that this holding onto this dream that is not my dream anymore is getting in the way of my current dreams. I have to let it go. It’s time.