Caldera: A Woman's Story by Anne Yero

By Anne Yero

Anne Yero has labored in detail with battered ladies for over a decade. She realized greatly, not just in regards to the girls she's encountered, but in addition approximately her personal earlier historical past. this can be a tale approximately her own trip in addition to the tales of these she's encountered professionally.

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I had all kinds of desires and needs and pains, and unexamined anguish, that had nothing to do with Lee. This was nothing Lee could fix. I believed we had marital problems and we did, but each of us also had individual problems that we individually refused to examine. Lee had been a loner for years; he had moved from job to job to job, always living alone, always disliking having people in close proximity, always finding ways to remain inaccessible. I, on the other hand, craved connectedness, but I was terribly insecure and almost always felt that I was beneath others, or not worthy or less-than-others.

I would lash out, alienate Lee, and make sure that I hurt him before he hurt me. Not exactly the most humane manner of treating a loved one, but then again, secreted and unknown to me was my deep-seated fear of everything I cared about going away. I’d reject him before he rejected me. Lee’s personality was quieter, and outwardly gentler, but he could be cutting, remote, and cruel. He rarely expressed anger; he simply stuffed his anger and became withdrawn and distant. We rarely, if ever, verbalized or resolved our marital struggles.

Lee agreed to another child. So we tried for a couple of months, and then there it was: the familiar miserable creeping chronic nausea, morning, noon, and night. This time we had medical insurance so my doctor admitted me to the Flagstaff Hospital, and there I rested, with an IV in my arm keeping me hydrated and with a bit of strength to fight the drowning waves of nausea, wave after wave after wave. After a few days, I stomached a few spoons of strawberry gelatin and my doctor sent me home. I toughed it out once again for four months of ongoing vomiting.

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